There are many different reasons why couples may have periods of challenge in their relationship. By attending couples counselling through our Mayfair office, our therapists and counsellors can work with you to help you to overcome the challenges you are facing.
Often couples are aware there is a problem in the relationship, but they may not have the skills or the understanding of how to address the problem. Often one or both have tried to talk to the other about their concerns only to be met with denial, anger, or perhaps a sense of rejection.
This, in turn, can further cause the couple to pull away from each other. They no longer talk, or at least they don't talk about their relationship. Often, they seem to become more like business partners or even strangers, having difficulty in relating to each other on anything other than a very basic level.
Why Couples Struggle
When people are first attracted to another, they aren't focused in on the day-to-day reality of living together. Instead, they are caught up in the rush of emotions of that emerging love for each other. Most couples don't spend time talking about what their lives together will look like. They rarely sit down and consider and honestly discuss actual relationship issues.
These can include:
- Expectations of the role of the partner in the relationship
- How responsibility will be delegated in the relationship
- How disagreements will be handled
- How to get needs met for intimacy, communication, and feelings of love and commitment
- Balancing work and home
- Financial expectations
The list can go on and on, and can become very complicated if there are additional factors influencing one or both of the partners. These influences can include the relationship of the parents of both of the partners as well as the influences of other relationships they have each had in the past.
Couples can also find challenges in life increase this level of tension and stress. Issues such as the loss of a job, the addition of a baby, a new job or promotion, increased responsibilities at work, or more serious issues such as affairs, addictions and loss of trust and contribute to relationship problems.
How Counselling Helps
Through counselling, you will explore these often hidden or unspoken issues that are causing the strain and stress in your relationship. Our professional counsellors will create a comfortable, confidential environment where you can talk about your concerns, your expectations, and your needs as a couple.
Through the counsellor's support, the couple can develop an understanding both of themselves and of each other, and how they can work together to strengthen the relationship. This may include developing new skills in conflict resolution, communicating with each other and perhaps in setting boundaries and relationship expectations that are clear and openly communicated.
The counsellor is not there to tell you how to manage your relationship. Instead, the counsellor will help you get out of the rut of anger, frustration or distance you are experiencing in the relationship. By working together the couple will define their partnership and rebuild their relationship based on their own mutual goals and objectives.