There are different reasons
why couples may have periods of challenge in their relationship. By attending
couples counselling through our Mayfair office, our therapists and counsellors
can work with you to help you to overcome the challenges you are facing.
In most cases, couples are
aware that there is a problem in the relationship, but they may not have the
skills or the understanding of how to address the problem. Often one or both
have tried to talk to the other about their concerns, only to be met with
denial, anger, or perhaps a sense of rejection.
This, in turn, can further
cause the couple to pull away from each other. They no longer talk, or at least
they don't talk about their relationship. Often, they seem to become more like
business partners or even strangers, having difficulty in relating to each
other on anything other than a very basic level.
Why Couples Struggle
When people are first
attracted to another, they aren't focused on the day-to-day reality of living
together. Instead, they are caught up in the rush of emotions of that emerging
love for each other. Most couples don't spend time talking about what their
lives together will look like. They rarely sit down, consider, and honestly
discuss actual relationship issues.
These can include:
• Expectations of the role of the partner in the
relationship
• How responsibility will be delegated in the relationship
• How disagreements will be handled
• How to get needs met for intimacy, communication, and
feelings of love and commitment
• Balancing work and home
• Financial expectations
The list can go on and on,
and can become very complicated if there are additional factors influencing one
or both partners. These influences can include the relationship of the parents
of both partners and the influences of other relationships they have each had
in the past.
Couples can also find
challenges in life that increase this level of tension and stress. Issues such
as the loss of a job, the addition of a baby, a new job or promotion, increased
responsibilities at work, or more serious issues such as affairs, addictions,
and loss of trust, contribute to relationship problems.
How Counselling Helps
Through counselling, you
will explore these often hidden or unspoken issues that are causing the strain
and stress in your relationship. Our professional counsellors will create a
comfortable and confidential environment where you can talk about your
concerns, your expectations, and your needs as a couple.
Through the counsellor's
support, the couple can develop an understanding, both of themselves and of
each other, and how they can work together to strengthen the relationship. This
may include developing new skills in conflict resolution, communicating with
each other, and perhaps in setting boundaries and relationship expectations
that are clear and openly communicated.
The counsellor is not there
to tell you how to manage your relationship. Instead, the counsellor will help
you get out of the rut of anger, frustration, or distance you are experiencing
in the relationship. By working together, the couple will define their
partnership and rebuild their relationship based on their own mutual goals and
objectives.
Posted by : Philippe Jacquet
