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Anger is one of the most misunderstood emotions in clinical work — and in ordinary life. It is routinely treated as the problem when it is almost always a signal. The question is not how to eliminate anger but what it is pointing at.
Boundaries are the structures that define and protect the self — physically, emotionally, and psychologically. Without them, it is impossible to be both in relationship with others and in relationship with oneself.
You cannot make everyone else happy and be happy yourself. Not simultaneously. Not sustainably.
Codependency is a relational structure in which one person progressively loses the boundaries of self in relation to another — organising their identity, emotions, and choices around the needs, moods, or behaviours of someone else.
The word codependency emerged from the addiction field. Melody Beattie described it as a secondary disease: the alcoholic is addicted to alcohol; the family member becomes addicted to the alcoholic. Their attention, energy, and sense of self become organised entirely around managing, rescuing, or surviving the person with the addiction.