Being in a relationship with a narcissist pervert

Although a typical relationship has its fair share of ups and downs, being in a relationship
with a narcissistic pervert is a whole different story.
Narcissistic partners are often self-centred, unloving, jealous, dramatic, and attention
seeking. They fail to see the other person’s needs and lack empathy or care when they are
faced with problems that aren’t their own.
People who have narcissistic personality disorder tend to find validation through the constant
oppression of others, which makes living with or even around them extremely testing.
It can make the other person feel lonely, anxious, depressed, and incompetent. Over time,
the victim can start to feel a sense of worthlessness as they are constantly put down by the
narcissist who is “always right”.

While the exact causes of narcissism are still unclear, many experts have linked it to early
childhood traumas, including abuse and neglect.

Why do people enter into relationships with narcissistic perverts?


Given the choice, few people would actively enter into a relationship with a narcissistic
pervert.
In the majority of cases, the person is initially seduced by the apparent charm, self-
confidence, and likability of the narcissist. They often experience an intense and passionate
“honeymoon period” in which they feel as though they’ve been swept off their feet.
However, this manufactured charm soon diminishes as the self-centred, arrogant, and
jealous personality traits begin to surface and their true character is exposed. ​​This can leave
the other person feeling confused and at a loss as to what has happened.
The other reason people end up in relationships with narcissistic perverts is due to
codependency.
According to Verywell Mind , codependency is an imbalanced relationship pattern where one
person assumes responsibility for meeting another person’s needs to the exclusion of
acknowledging their own needs or feelings.
In other words, they will put up with a certain amount of abuse from the narcissist because
they don’t feel confident enough in themselves to set boundaries or be on their own.

What can those in relationships with narcissistic perverts do?


The simplest way to deal with a relationship with a narcissistic pervert is to end it. However,
this is often easier said than done, particularly if you still feel committed to the person.
Luckily, there are a number of options for those who find themselves in this situation.


Manage your expectations


Just because someone is a narcissist, it doesn’t mean that every single aspect of their
character is deplorable. But if you expect them to change their ways and start behaving like
a “normal” person, you’re likely to end up being disappointed and frustrated.
A better tactic might be to manage your expectations based on how well you know them and
enjoy the good moments when they come.

Don’t let your self-worth become dependent on them


Attempting to please a narcissist will only end in disaster: they’re unlikely to appreciate your
efforts, which will leave you feeling empty and worthless. If you pin your self-worth on their
response to you, it will only damage it.

Encourage them to seek therapy


People with narcissistic personality disorder tend to hide behind a facade of over-confidence
and vanity because they lack self-esteem. Many are suffering from unaddressed childhood
trauma, which has led them to feel vulnerable and worthless.
Therefore, for there to be genuine hope of recovering a relationship with a narcissistic
pervert, the narcissist themselves must overcome their negative traits. They need to
challenge their self-serving habits, while focusing on developing their capacity for empathy
and respect for others.

At Philippe Jacquet & Associates, we can help those with narcissistic personality disorder
work through their problems and improve their relationship with their partner.
With techniques rooted in Jungian psychology, we can help individuals overcome their past
traumas and build up self-esteem. Based on the world-famous Harley Street in London’s
Mayfair, we offer a professional and confidential environment backed up by years of
experience in the field.

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