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An old saying goes that in order to love someone else, you must first love yourself. The truth of this statement can be readily seen in the fact that people with low self-esteem often have difficulty establishing and maintaining health relationships. Here we will take a look at 10 ways low-self-esteem can affect a relationship.

  1. Low-self-esteem can cause the wrong choice of partner  Those who have low self-esteem may be more likely to settle for a relationship that they don’t truly desire. Thinking that they cannot attract a more suitable mate, they find themselves feeling stuck in a bad or uncomfortable relationship situation.
  2. Low-self-esteem can cause reduced intimacy  When a person does not feel adequate, it can affect their sexual appetite and performance. Looking to avoid being judged as inadequate in bed, some people who have low self- esteem avoid intimacy with their partners.
  3. Low-self-esteem leads to sabotage  A person who has low self-esteem may not believe that they are worthy of love. Hence, when they enter into a relationship they may unwittingly sabotage it as a result of their not feeling they deserve it in the first place.
  4. Low-self-esteem leads to jealousy  When a person is not secure in himself or herself, they may expect others to be unfaithful to them. In essence, the partner with low-self-esteem sees the entire world as a threat to their relationship, and works to keep their loved one as closed off from the world as possible.
  5. Low-self-esteem can lead to violence  Self-confident people believe that they can express themselves and get their points across without resorting to physical confrontation. On the other hand, a person with low self-esteem is far more likely to use violence when they feel that they are not being heard or understood by their partner in a romantic relationship.
  6. Low-self-esteem leads to cheating  Often times a person with low self- esteem will seek the approval of others in order to make himself or herself feel worthy. This approval seeking can lead to the development of side relationships and flings. The person with low self-esteem is essentially trying to prove to themselves that they still have it, that they are still capable of attracting prospective mates.
  7. Low-self-esteem self-pity  Because being in a committed relationship is hard work, it is best approached in a spirit of cooperation. But when one partner has low self-esteems it can cause them to tend towards self-pity instead of seeking a solution to common issues. For example, after a difficult conversation, a person with low self-esteem may find himself or herself sulking, instead of trying to actively move forward.
  8. Low-self-esteem can cause a communication breakdown  In a romantic relationship, it is very important that both partner be open and feel free to express themselves. But a person suffering from low self-esteem may unilaterally decide that their partner does not care to hear what they have to say, and may shut down communication as a result. As communication is essential in a relationship, this kind of shutdown can be very detrimental.
  9. Low-self-esteem can lead to drug and alcohol abuse  Many of the world’s drug and alcohol addicts began using as a way to try to escape the difficulties of their lives. Many of these people felt a sense of low self-worth, a sense that they mistakenly thought their drug of choice would help them overcome. This is one reason why low self-esteem can be so dangerous in a relationship: it can lead to even more serious problems such as substance abuse.
  10. Low-self-esteem can result in financial issues  Like those who abuse substances in order to try to feel better about themselves, some people overspend when trying to make up for a lack of self-esteem. This kind of overspending can wreak havoc on a family’s budget, and can cause a real strain on the relationship.

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