Low self-esteem
Low Self-Esteem Counselling Therapy - Central London
It may seem like an oxymoron
to talk about low self-esteem and successful professionals, but many people
today are trapped in this situation. They have good jobs, good careers and even
good relationships, at least that is how it appears to everyone else. Inside
they constantly question what they are doing, send negative messages about all
their decisions, and even fear having to express an opinion because they are
worried they may make a mistake.
These are the people that
are trying to deal with low self-esteem. Low self-esteem can translate into a
range of behaviours that can include constantly apologizing for things outside
of their control, inability to take even low-level risks, feelings of guilt and
shame and constant second guessing everything that they do or say. These people
may also lack the courage to stand up for themselves so they may find that they
are constantly taking on new projects even though they are already overwhelmed.
The biggest issue for people
with low self-esteem is they may not even realize they don't feel good about
themselves. It can be dissatisfaction with the way they perform at work or
school, the way they look or the way that they interact with others. For many
people it spills over into all aspects of their lives and takes away any
possibility of joy in their lives.
Signs of Low
Self-EsteemSigns of Low Self-Esteem
Low self-esteem typically
develops over time and from negative feedback from those people in your life
that you value. This can start with negative or harsh parenting in the home and
then become internalised so you literally become your own harshest critic.
Typically signs of low
self-esteem include:
• Withdrawal from interactions and social situations
• Isolation from friends and family
• Hostility and aggression to others
• Extreme reactions to criticism
• Headaches
• Digestive problems
• Insomnia
• Decrease in work or school performance
• Feelings of defeat, hopelessness and worthlessness
• Guilt and shame over issues outside of your control
• Perfectionism
• Pessimisim about the future
• Resentment over others' achievements
• Any failure seen as a permanent indication of the future
Improving Negative or Low
Self-Esteem
For most individuals with
low self-esteem, unreasonably high levels of success are seen as a marker of
their ability to be accepted by the people around them. They often set
unrealistic expectations as that marker and then when they fail, they start on
a cycle of negativity.
The way to break this cycle
is for the person with low self-esteem to change how they view success and how
they view themselves in relation to the world around them. By shifting their
sense of accomplishment and success from external markers or goals to internal
or personal achievements, that negative failure and message cycle can be
stopped and corrected.
Through counselling,
exercises and practice people with low self-esteem can learn to value their own
unique talents, skills and abilities and see them in a realistic and positive
light. This will not only boost their self-esteem but also help them in their
relationships and interactions with others around them.
Posted by: Philippe Jacquet